andrew barnett

Toilets

I hate the shared toilets at work. Whatever thin veneer of professionalism, and indeed civilisation, people wear is left at the door. It’s not just the grunters and farters, nor the fug that makes it impossible to breathe and suggests some people really should consult a doctor. There’s the OCD type intently flicking the end of his wang HARD and then uses so much soap washing his hands that the lather overflows the basin. The other dude who, instead of shaking, prefers a dozen or 2 long, slow, squeezing strokes. The poor chap who wasn’t just grunting, but whispering encouragement to himself and deep breathing in the manner of giving birth. Unable to contain my laughter, I fled. There are people with the toilet habits of juvenile monkeys - university educated professionals who cannot use a toilet without then treading poop across the floor. It seems too that our Western toilets pose problems for the increasing numbers of off-shore workers in the office. The clear evidence is that some of them prefer to stand or squat on the seat, with predictable lack of accuracy. Flushing seems to be regarded as optional. Other Australian banks have found it necessary to place educational posters in each cubicle. And finally there was the email to the department from the upset fellow who’d come across “tissues with the DNA sample” left in the cubicle by a previous occupant.

July 3

My elitist Apple side is pissed about queuing with the proles. Why should I have to fight some fucking Windows user for an iPhone? (via xenex)

March 17

“ Depression, probably the most obvious condition leading to suicide, is a prison filled with repeat offenders, and the crime of melancholia has a startling recidivism rate. But it is not a prison in which rights are respected, nor is humane treatment the standard fare. Rather, the jailer is a fickle torturer who punishes his charges without mercy. The depressed person inhabits a cell with a tiny window and iron bars, is beaten, burned, electrocuted, and flayed by the guards, left shivering and in pain, while relatives and friends may visit, blind to both the unbearable wounds he suffers and to the bars which hold him. Bewildered, they cannot understand why he doesn’t rise and walk through the empty doorway; they do not understand his pain; and they may inflict guilt or further torture by sneering at his condition or offering pointless advice (“What’s the matter with you? Just leave!”) which only exacerbates his suffering. Because they do not see the bars, the walls, the jailer, the prison grounds, they cannot take his pain seriously. It is an enigma to them. They can give him little, if any, comfort. Antonio Savoradin

February 28

Playing with formatting:

bold

italic

strikethrough

Ooh, strikethrough not working, on Safari 3 at least.

October 10

Growing Up

Growing up is when you accept with good grace that the other two thirds of what you wanted from life will have to wait until next time around.

Growing up is when you accept with good grace that you’re probably better off with the third you have, instead of the two thirds you don’t.

October 4

WTF

8 years after Cluetrain, business people still think that this is English:

In addition to the BAU budgets, we will focus on uplifting our capabilities so that we can be a leader in undertaking transformation initiatives that are likely to significantly change the way we provide IT services. Leadership and change resilience initiatives will also take a prominent place among the capability uplift segment of the business plan.

Let. Me. Out. Of. Here.